Something I hear a lot of women say is how dressing for a date is hard. In my honest opinion, this becomes hard when you’ve been out of practice, or out of touch with romance. Whether you’re single, married, or in a relationship, romance doesn’t just happen because two people are together, or are meeting up for the night. Like anything of value, you have to cultivate romance like a garden. Plant the seed, water it, and make sure it gets proper sunlight and nourishment for it to grow and prosper. Whatever is hanging in your closet is directly proportioned to the amount and quality of romance and sexuality you are experiencing in your life at this moment. Having a romance ready wardrobe is key to having a great romantic life. You’ve got to dress the part to play the part. Think about how many times you’ve taken your wardrobe seriously only when you really needed something; maybe a new promotion, or when you met someone new. I distinctly remember a past boyfriend of mine taking me shopping for one of our very first dates so he could update his wardrobe now that I was in his life. I’ve been guilty of it too; shopping for new lingerie only when a romantic relationship was on the horizon. But it’s time to recognize that being prepared with a romantic wardrobe means being prepared for romantic enchantment, and a great loving relationship at any stage.
Having A Romance Ready Wardrobe Goes Hand-In-Hand With Having A Great Relationship.
Whenever I speak to people in sexless marriages, or singles that haven’t been in relationships for years, I always look to their wardrobe. The answer is always in their closet. When we’ve let our sexuality become stagnant, chances are we’ve also lost touch with doing things that make us feel and look good. I don’t know a single person that honestly reaches for a big ass hoodie and sweatpants when they’re going on a hot date and trying to impress the opposite sex. Of course, you can look cute and sexy in sweats if you have the right attitude (hello, dancers do it all the time), but chances are you’re not choosing sweats on date night when you want to get the juices flowing.
More often than not, when I talk with clients who have lost touch with their sexuality, there’s always a direct correlation between their wardrobe and their love life. There’s usually a few pairs of sweatpants or leggings nearby, that pairs perfectly with a lack of desire to dress well if the occasion doesn’t call for it, and clothes that look like they belong to the Good Will, but instead are serving as a regular at home, “comfy” outfit. It’s no wonder they don’t feel sexy! Their clothes are literally lifeless, boring and drab, or hanging off of them!
What To Ask Yourself When It’s Time For A Wardrobe Check-Up.
The first thing I suggest is to ask yourself: what do you wear in your down time? What do you wear when no one is looking? What do you wear now that you’re married and feel like you don’t have to try anymore? What do you wear when you’re at home and not in single dad mode? Do you look like you’re going to yoga class when you’re running to the grocery store? Do you look like you got your sweatpants from your older, bigger brother? Are you wearing old t-shirts to bed? The answer that you’re looking for as to why you’ve lost touch with your sexy side is right in front of you in your closet.
5 Must-Haves For Making Your Wardrobe Romance Ready.
Your Signature Scent: Whether it be your daily lotion, perfume/cologne, or the hand cream you carry, making sure you always smell good will ignite your senses and put you back in touch with your body and sensuality through the power of scent. Think about how you smell when someone’s standing close to you. You don’t want them to cough because you’ve over loaded the cologne, but you don’t want them to be turned off by your body scent either. Check out more on this topic by reading my blog post here: Why Perfume Is Essential In Every Woman’s Wardrobe; Plus Tips For Finding Your Signature Scent.
Something Soft To The Touch: To be ready for romance, you’ve got to incorporate some textured shirts, coats, etc. Enticing someone to touch your new velvet or faux fur coat, suede, sequin, leather, silk dress shirt or blouse, or adding a super plush blanket to your couch, or a satin dress to your wardrobe helps to activate the sense of touch. Soft hair, pleasant fabrics invite human connection, even in subtle flirtation. Touch can be incredibly romantic. Recently, I styled a man and rolled up his sleeves on his dress shirt so you could see his masculine forearms. It’s little details like that, and adding a gentleman’s watch to a well-dressed outfit that invites romance to come out and play; more so than the straight from the office buttoned-up suit.
The Right Undergarments: I can’t tell you how important it is to have your lingerie drawer on point. After having to rebuild my wardrobe from scratch, there’s nothing more of a hinderance to dressing sexy than not having the undergarments you need when it comes time to slip on that lace camisole, sleeveless jumpsuit, or a-symmetrical dress, and you don’t have the right bra, underwear, or stockings to go with it. That’s why you gotta start with your lingerie drawer and make sure you have versatile undergarments so that you can wear whatever the f*ck you want. I highly recommend spending some time at The Lingerie Addict, and for men starting with this GQ article, and getting yourself a pair of CDLP briefs that will turn your underwear world around.
The Perfect Evening Dress: Every woman, no matter what kind of life she’s living, needs to have the perfect dress in her closet for a black-tie affair. When my wardrobe was complete, there was a time where I would get invited to all kinds of events from sunset dinners in Santa Monica, executive meetings downtown New York, weddings, vineyards, beach vacations, you name it, my wardrobe was prepared for it all. I rarely had to go shopping for anything. I was able to buy things that I loved because I already stocked my wardrobe with everything I needed. A black evening dress is a wardrobe essential so you never have a freak out moment if you get invited something semi-fancy like a wedding, or when your boyfriend gets you tickets to the opera. This ensemble from DVF is the perfect example; it doubles as a fancy sequin jersey dress, and if you buy the pants you can also wear it with a satin top and sequin pants, and then also put it all together for a full outfit complete with a neck scarf. Black sequin is dressy enough to go either semi-formal or black-tie. It’s an incredible wardrobe item to have so you’re ready for anything. Men, head over to Mr. Porter online to find your well-tailor suit equivalent. You may also try Suit Supply. Ladies, you’re going to want to make sure you also have a handbag, coat, scarf, stockings and dress shoes all in your closet to complete this evening look. More on that in my accessories post here.
Your Best Dress Shoes: There’s nothing sexier than the sound of heels clicking through the room as a woman gracefully walks through it dressed in a form-fitting evening gown. The sound of a gentleman’s dress shoes has a similar effect. The shoes tell a woman everything she needs to know. Are you pairing casual sneakers with a quarter-zip hoodie and calling it dressed up? Even if a man is sitting down with his pant leg inched up where I can see his dress socks and the type of shoes he’s wearing, I can’t wait to see him get up and walk the room in his shoes. Shoes are a selective statement. For example, I got in the elevator in my building the other day to find a middle aged man wearing a checkered plum dress shirt, gray Patagonia fleece vest, with a camel brown leather belt, charcoal grey dress pants with a perfect crease down the center of the leg paired with two-toned faded chocolate brown to camel brown leather dress shoes. It was casual, but thoughtfully put together for a work day. Make sure whatever dress shoes you get you can wear them in all seasons. Something suede or satin are nice as long as they are closed toe but open enough to be worn in winter or summer like these Tamra Mellon Gemini pumps here.