Before You Build A Sexy Wardrobe, Do This.

Before Building A Sexy Wardrobe, Do This

How we dress is often influenced by subconscious patterns we’ve picked up from our parents, our childhood and adolescence, and our working, and living environments. There’s also a good chance that your wardrobe habits reflect your daily relationship patterns, and even your financial habits. If you look closely, you’ll find that habits are pretty parallel across the board. And your dressing habits are no different. This could look like skipping over your needs to get to your wants. Buying the basics can be boring, so maybe you skip that part and get the items that are more fun and exciting to buy. But, you can’t build a romance ready wardrobe full of sexy statement pieces when you don’t even have the basic items stocked.

Don’t Put Your Wants Before Your Basic Wardrobe Needs.

How many times have you caught yourself buying something you really want and neglecting your basic needs? Maybe that’s not your story, and that’s wonderful. But, if you’re like me, maybe you keep buying different shades of lipsticks and eye shadow palettes from Sephora when you don’t have basic undershirts for your sweaters. It might be time to look at those habits. Like why I have to have those new ivory colored jeans for the perfect winter white outfit, but leave myself with less than $50 in grocery money for the next two weeks? No need to beat myself up. But, if I wanted to build my wardrobe the right way, I needed to really look at some of these learned bad behaviors that we all get from somewhere.

The sooner we look at our daily dressing habits (and spending habits) and fill our basic wardrobe gaps, the sooner we actually start taking care of our basic needs. Because honestly, if we’re buying something we really want by neglecting our basic needs, does that actually feel good? No. It doesn’t. Not without the post-purchase guilt anyway. Whenever we take care of our needs, our real needs, that feels good because we’re taking care of ourselves. Building a solid wardrobe requires the discipline to put your needs before your wants. In this blog post, we dive into how.

How To Change Your Dressing Habits.

Changing habits isn’t easy; especially, deeply ingrained, subconscious habits. I’ve been trying to exercise consistently throughout this whole pandemic landing on my yoga mat only half of the time I’d like to. I’d like to get back to regular, year-round exercising, because I know that the key to being fit is staying fit. It’s a great feeling when you don’t stress about bathing suit season because you’re ready for it. The same mindset applies to building a romance ready wardrobe. When we keep our basic wardrobe fit and healthy, then, we can zone in on expressing our sexuality style. Any time you try to skip over the basics, you end up in a wardrobe situation of buying a sexy, black cut out dress, but then you get home and can’t wear it because you don’t have the proper undergarments to wear underneath it. You can’t focus on your sexuality style when you’re still in need of a basic t-shirt bra. You’ll always be playing catch up if you try to get the statement pieces before the basics. Standing on a solid wardrobe foundation means your romance ready at the drop of a hat, because you took care of the basics each season.

Basics don’t have to be boring. Any stylist will tell you that you can easily mix and match your basics, dressing them up and down and wearing them different ways. You can find your basic needs in the moments of frustration when you’re standing in front of our closet going, “I don’t have a casual sports coat to wear to yoga class with my sneakers” or whenever you say I don’t have this, or I need that. Your wardrobe will let you know what it’s lacking. Your part is putting that item on a Basic Wardrobe List and actually fulfilling that need. Once you set aside money and time to buy the basics, the wardrobe building that follows is much more fun.

Follow These 5 Basic Dressing Tips From Mikki Taylor.

Take it from “Essence” Editor in Chic, Mikki Taylor who shared 5 Basic Dressing Tips for creating a perfectly polished look in this article. Ms. Taylor’s tips are outlined in bold below (with a few notes of my own next to each one).

  1. Wear clothes that make sense for your life. (Hint: that light, down puffer coat you need to hit hot yoga in the winter).
  2. Invest in bankable pieces and repeat performers. (Hint: basics!)
  3. Buy quality in multiples. (Hint: stocking up on end of summer basic t-shirt sales so you always have what you need).
  4. Never buy a look for a single occassion (unless it’s your wedding).
  5. Organize your closet the right way. (Hint: this saves a bunch of time, and when it’s done right you can see what you need, and what you’ve got right in front of you each day. No one wears anything from the back of the closet).

What To Do Next.

Stop the habit of running to the lingerie department to splurge on undergarments when you’re about to enter a new romantic relationship. Start a new one by taking inventory of your basics season to season. Prioritize your basic needs over your wants, so your dressing habits can change and evolve as you do. This way, you’re not wearing raggedy old lingerie for years, but got the latest Fenty Beauty drop arriving next week. Identify your basic wardrobe needs. Make a list. Notice your spending habits. Monitor the excuses that come up when you don’t want to buy the basics, and shop Sephora instead. What did you learn? What are your basic needs? What’s on your list? What are your tendencies? Share them in the comments below. No shame. We’ve all got ’em!

Stacy Hamm
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