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In FASHION

How To Avoid Falling Into A Post-Marriage Slump Of Careless Dressing.

post-marriage careless dressing slump

There’s a fine line between dressing for comfort and dressing downright sloppy. There are many contributing, justifiable, life factors that can knock you on your ass and keep you there. In this case, no one can say shit to you if an old sweatsuit and a pint of ice cream has become your very best friend. But, falling into a post-marriage slump of careless dressing is not one of those times. It’s important to recognize the stark difference between a life debilitating moment, and choosing to remain in a complacent slump of careless dressing.

Do The Inner Work Before The Outer Work.

When life knocks us down, it can be devastating. Losing a great job, suffering financial hardship, mourning the death of a loved one, or experiencing sexual, relationship trauma or heartache are some ways life can press pause on our hopes and dreams. While I wish I healing was as easy as putting on an Amsale fluid satin gown and prancing around town, it’s never that easy. When life knocks us down, in our own way, on our own time, and sometimes with the proper professional help and support of loved ones, we can stand tall again. The truth is, you’re in a pretty damn good place of luxury if you’re able to get the support you need, heal, and give yourself a wardrobe update. But more often than not, a lot of inner work has to be done before we even think about adorning ourselves with new fashion.

Let’s assume, for the sake of this blog post, that you’re in that place. I’ve always said, when my wardrobe is on point, my life is on point. The opposite has also been true. I’ve lost motivation for exercising, eating well, and lived in yoga pants and tunics for longer than I care to admit. Turning the Titanic around takes some work, but looking at your daily dressing habits is a great start.

How To Get Out Of A Post-Marriage Slump Of Careless Dressing.

Ask yourself the following questions to evaluate your current dressing habits. Take inventory of your responses, and proceed with aligned action.

  1. What are your current wardrobe gaps? Ex: do you need more at home, day time, at work, semi-fancy, black tie, or work out clothes? 
  2. Is your current wardrobe more catered to work or to fun? 
  3. What areas do I need to focus on to bring my wardrobe more into balance? Ex: Do you have plenty of work out attire, business clothes, and loungewear? Do you have enough outfits for going out, vacationing, and attending special events? 
  4. Is your current wardrobe ready for romance? Ex: if you waved a magic wand and your dream guy/girl showed up with a roundtrip romantic getaway to Paris would you be ready, or go into a shopping frenzy? 
  5. Is your closet full of old t-shirts and clothes? Do you keep wearing the same things over and over, year after year? Does your wardrobe make you feel sloppy? 
  6. Do you avoid buying pretty clothes and lingerie (or underwear) like the plague? 
  7. Does your wardrobe get an update each season? 
  8. Have there been any changes to your lifestyle and daily routines in the past few months? Ex: did you join a gym, start new recreational activities, begin a new romantic relationship, make travel plans, take on family responsibilities, etc. where you would need to make wardrobe adjustments?
  9. How many different outfits per week does your lifestyle call for?
  10. How many hours per week do you spend getting dressed and ready for different activities?
  11. Do you have a long-term habit of dressing on autopilot? Ex: wearing dad’s old t-shirt to bed, or mom buys you new clothes often? 
  12. How many hours per week do youI spend on grooming and tending to your clothes? Ex: self-care, face masks and beauty treatments, nail and hair care, washing/ironing/folding laundry? 
  13. How many times do you change costumes each week? Ex: dressing for work, exercising, date nights and social gatherings, evening, sleepwear, loungewear, etc.
  14. Do you feel your wardrobe adequately represents your lifestyle and personal style? 
  15. Does your wardrobe provide you with a feeling of satisfaction and self-respect, meets your romantic expectations, and makes you feel ready to dress for anything life throws your way? 
  16. Do you have daily routines in place to plan your outfits, experiment with your style, and dress your best in a judgement-free environment?
  17. Do you have the financial resources and time to spend updating your wardrobe on a regular, monthly basis? 
  18. How much money and time could you allocate each week, or month, to bring your wardrobe up to par?
  19. What area of your wardrobe are you most resistant to spending money on and why? 
  20. Which areas of your life would dramatically improve if you enhanced your wardrobe?
  21. What’s one piece of advice you would give yourself to avoid falling into a post-marriage slump of careless dressing? 

“Whatever your wardrobe analysis reveals about your life and activities must be your shopping guide.” – Edith Head

What To Do Next.

Now that you have invaluable insight into your daily dressing habits, you can now make changes so you wardrobe can work for you, not against you. After you’ve thoughtfully answered all 21 questions, make a list of 3 changes you’d like to make to your daily dressing habits. Maybe you want to plan your outfits out the night before to save time. Maybe you want to purge your old, raggedy clothes, or start wearing pretty lingerie. Make a list of your 3 goals, and bullet point the tasks you’re going to do each week to accomplish that goal. Put a 30-day reminder on your calendar to check-in on your progress. Rinse and repeat. Keep going. All small steps lead to big strides. Share your goals in the comments below. I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

Want to learn more about dressing the Sexuality Stylist way?! Click here to get notified when the free, online workshop goes live: 7 Dressing Habits You Can Avoid So You Don’t Fall Into A Post-Marriage Slump Of Careless Dressing.

Stacy Hamm
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