Why I Created #SexualityStylist And The Problems It’ll Help You Solve.

Hi, friend. Welcome to the official launch of my blog, Sexuality Stylist. I’m so happy you’re here with me. Sexuality Stylist is a blog where I share weekly relationship inspiration, sexuality insights, and personal style tips for building your dream wardrobe and dating the man of your dreams. I blend my life experiences, with things I learn from my clients (always protecting and honoring confidentiality) because they teach me so much, and I feel like we can all benefit from learning from each other. I publish this blog in my voice, which is very East Coast vibe with my New York sass and realness, where I tend to write in a very blunt, straight up kinda tone, that doesn’t always vibe with everyone. And that’s completely okay with me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I have blogs that I love and respect as do you. Just know that I love all my readers, the unique perspective they bring to the table, and I’m always open to suggestions so that I can evolve, grow, and learn from you! You make me better. You inspire me to keep writing even on the days when it’s hard. My intention for this blog is that it’s a space of mutual love and respect for all my readers and commentators. All perspectives are welcome, as long as that respect and love remain in tact.

Allow Me To Introduce Myself.

Before we get into it, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Stacy, publisher of Sexuality Stylist, certified menswear and personal stylist, and former spiritual sexuality and relationship coach. I’m certified as a holistic health coach by New York State as a graduate from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (IIN) in New York City. While my training focused on holistic health, and working with a whole person in areas of nutrition, exercise, career, spirituality and relationships, I realized after graduating that my relationship with food wasn’t my passion, and learning how to have amazing romantic relationships and real intimacy lit my soul on fire. I remember the IIN founder saying, “so much of what’s going on for people with food, how they eat, and what they eat, has a lot to do with their intimate and romantic relationships”.  In that moment, I went on a self-discovery mission learning what makes sexuality and relationships really thrive.

Initially, I started Sexuality Stylist to share what I was learning about love, sex and relationships. Then, as I was getting to the core of my own sexuality and relationship wounds and struggles, I was also discovering what makes me tick, what lights me up, and that’s when my personal stylist really started to come through. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my style was evolving as I was, and now I’m here to share how we can use clothes as a powerful catalyst for self-expression of authentic sexuality, creativity, and living the life of your dreams.

Why I Started The Blog: Sexuality Stylist.

Fast forward six years, and my blog took on a life of it’s own. I went back to my roots. Ever since I was a little girl, I used fashion as a way to tell the world who I was and share my story (proof in the picture above). I used to sketch fashion designs, too. I wish I had them today, but I remember drawing dresses and just getting lost in the colors on the paper. Growing up, we didn’t have much, and my version of going shopping was sorting through Hefty bags of hand-me-downs. It taught me early on how to be creative with limited resources. This is when my talent for putting outfits together for any occasion using what you already have really came to life. When I started using clothes to express my own sexuality and go deeper into the layers of my personality, I realized I was onto something. I decided to blend personal style and sexuality and romance together in a blog because they are strongly correlated with each other. As I was working one-on-one with style clients, I learned how they wanted to build a dream wardrobe and discover their personal style, and came to me wearing ill-fitted clothes that weren’t congruent with who they really were. They wanted to know how to tell if a piece looks good on them, and confessed that they didn’t always know what they were really attracted to in romantic relationships and when shopping for clothes. I immediately drew the connection. How can you attract the love of your life, dream partner, if you’re not dressing the part? Because dressing according to who you are attracts the kind of person you’re gonna draw toward you, and if you’re confused, you’re gonna attract someone else who feels the same. Read my blog post on How To Dress To Attract And Keep The Man Of Your Dreams. In my style sessions, I use style archetypes, astrology, paired with my relationship coach training and personal stylist certification tools and techniques to help clients and readers get congruent with what they really desire deep down inside, and this often helps gain clarity on the kind of romantic partner they really want in their life. It was clear as day to me how their clothes were not congruent to who they are, and how their actions were also not congruent with their deepest desires. Fashion is a channel that can easily open up the door to our deepest fantasies, if we give ourselves permission to dance in the magic of it. When done right, personal style is a personal statement of who you are, and what you want. Throwing outfits together because you have to run out the door doesn’t give you enchantment. Wearing work out clothes during leisure time because you’re unhappy with your wardrobe and shopping is overwhelming doesn’t have to be the default solution.

After discovering these daily pain points, and real-life problems that both women and men were struggling with, it was time to create a platform that would address how personal style could help people revive sexuality and romantic relationships. One way we can do that is by letting go of the pressure of male and female social roles, as Ester Perel so perfectly summarizes here in this four-minute video on what really turns women on. Specifically, the men and women I work with were struggling with throwing all of their energy into work, leaving little to no time for play or fun. Their wardrobes needed to be rebuilt with balance of both career and romance in mind.  Playing dress up isn’t just for five year olds. Clothes have a magic in them, and can be used to help us feel sexy, confident, and romantic, and that’s why Sexuality Stylist was born. I’m very practical in my approach to building your dream wardrobe, and making sure it’s on budget, and functional for your lifestyle, but is also full of clothes that serve as a catalyst for self-expression. Too many people get dressed on auto-pilot, and dress in one-dimension, wearing the same old shit day in and day out without much thought as to how they want to feel. This contributes to finding yourself in a loop of the same old dating patterns, attracting people who may also be out of touch with their sexuality and who they really are. I love these two quotes from Bergdorf Goodman’s fashion therapist, Betty Halbriech, and the Golden Era of Hollywood’s most-famous costume designer, Edith Head:

“You can have anything you want in life, if you’re willing to dress for it.” – Edith Head

“If you’re not enjoying your clothes, than you really are missing the point.” – Betty Halbreich

I want people to feel their most beautiful and handsome all the time. Diana Vreeland said, “Style is everything. It helps you get down the stairs. It’s a way of life. Without it, you’re nobody and I’m not talking about a lot of clothes. A new dress doesn’t get you anywhere, it’s the life you are living in the dress.” A dream wardrobe has the power to elevate you to live the life of your dreams. Fashion can be a force for fantasy and romance and help you play and express different sides of yourself, particularly the one that doesn’t have to go to work everyday.

It is my deepest desire for this blog to serve men and women who have lost sight of themselves as sexual, sensual, romantic beings; who need to revive the area of intimacy and relationships in their lives. I hope this blog adds intrinsic value to their lives through suggesting practical action steps and sharing inspiring stories and information to help create the change they want to see in their lives, their wardrobes, their personal style and empowers them to embrace and own their sexuality whether they’re single, married, or in a relationship.

Types of Problems This Blog Will Solve And The Value It’ll Bring To The Readers.

Navigating the arena of sexuality and relationships and the fashion world is a task not for the faint of heart, so it’s important for me to stay focused on what I feel I can contribute and speak on, and let go of the things I don’t feel is in my scope of expertise. Therefore, I want to clarify the problems and concerns that this blog will address in hopes to add value to the lives of my readers and help them feel sexy and confident in their clothes, and happy and satisfied in the romance department.

Here’s a list of some of the problems this blog will address over time:

  • How to tell if a piece of clothing looks good on you and dressing for your body type.
  • Addressing why you don’t always know what you’re really attracted to when it comes to clothes and dating.
  • Clarifying your style archetypes and using them to help bring your personal style to life.
  • Not knowing how to dress your breasts, and straying away from dressing too sexy because you think you have to look a certain way to wear pretty, sexy clothes.
  • Feeling like your clothes aren’t a reflection of who you are and what you can do about it.
  • How to mix and match your wardrobe using what you have and buying pieces to fill your wardrobe gaps so you can go to your closet and get dressed every day with confidence and feel good in your well-fitted clothes.
  • Learning how to shop your personal style, stay on budget, and love going into your closet to get dressed everyday.
  • How to find better fitting clothes.
  • How to dress in a way that’s congruent to who you really are, so you can attract the man that you’re truly compatible with, and have the romantic relationship of your dreams.
  • How to align your wardrobe with your deepest desires and dreams in life.
  • How to be well-dressed and know what to wear for any occasion.
  • Revitalize the romance and sexuality in your life after a dating dry spell, and stop being an over-worked career woman who never stops to smell the roses or invests in a wardrobe that makes her feel like a beautiful woman in love.
  • Build the wardrobe of your dreams that’s true to your personal style filled with items that are functional for your lifestyle without spending a fortune.
  • Read brand and product reviews to help you identify items that work for you, by reading how I invest in building a successful wardrobe full of clothing, accessories, beauty and hygiene products, that align with my values and who I am so you can do the same and build your own brand list of things that work for you.
  • Learn from books and experts that I discover and share with you to inspire you to dress like you can have anything you want in life, including the romantic relationship of your dreams.
  • Address sexuality and relationship struggles like how women often fall into the trap of being in her social role of nurturing when it comes to sex and putting a man’s sexual needs and pleasure before her own. Discover how to break this habit, and take your power back when it comes to sex.
  • Making time in your daily life for romance and sexual expression, so you’re not always in work mode leaving little time for play with the God and Goddess within.

How To Subscribe And When To Expect New Blog Posts.

You can expect to receive a new blog post in your email inbox every week. My weekly email is not a newsletter where I flood you with a ton of information. It’s just a short note to say hello, followed by links to the most recent blogs published on Sexuality Stylist. Easy breezy. Join the list and subscribe by clicking here: https://forms.aweber.com/form/81/426793581.htm and you’ll get my free guide for Finding The Perfect Outfit For Any Occassion. There will be a new guide sent to all my subscribers on how to dress your body type coming soon! Thank you for reading and being a part of the Sexuality Stylist crew: where personal style meets sexuality and relationships. I hope this blog gives you a-ha moments and is a place for you to feel sexy, confident and empowered to take daily action on dressing for your dreams.

Stacy Hamm
Every month we’ll send you style tips, product reviews, and outfit inspiration! Join our style community

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